Designing Effective Meeting Agreements
When you play a game like Charades, there are rules that everyone follows—taking turns, using gestures and hand signals instead of noises and words, and working as a team or in pairs. We follow the rules because the game can’t be played without them.
Just like games, meetings work best with rules—or what we like to call agreements.
Meeting Agreements
Etiquette vs. Agreements
Meeting agreements are ground rules for meeting etiquette and a support system for constructive conflict.
In her book The Art of Gathering, Priya Parker describes etiquette in gatherings as unspoken rules established by a privileged few that we all still follow. No one made an explicit rule that emotions shouldn’t be expressed in the workplace, yet it’s still one of the hardest places to be our full selves.
Parker believes rules are what create the environment for meetings. But these aren’t the same for all teams, and they may not even be the same for all the meetings. It’s up to teams to create their own agreements and, in doing so, create their own environment for meetings.
Download our Meeting Agreements Matching resource to help you select agreements that align with the needs of your group.
Identifying Meeting Agreements
A meeting agreement can be a ground rule, metaphor, or principle to help a group understand the expectations of behavior during a meeting. To pick the best meeting agreement for your team, start by identifying the challenges the group tends to face when working on a project or having a discussion.
Some of the most common are:
Empathy
Getting too in the weeds
Group think
Interrupting/talking over each other
Listening
Reactive behavior
Taking risks
Thinking outside of the box
Accountability
Acknowledging different perspectives
Actively participating
Arguing sides
Blaming each other
Communication
Dealing with change
Decision-making
Create a Meeting Agreement Library
Click here to download our free Meeting Agreement Matching PDF.
Facilitators collect meeting agreements like a geologist collects rocks. We recommend creating a list of your favorite agreements to quickly choose from as you plan your meeting.
Here are a few of our favorites…
We are “they.” No one else will make this happen. There is no “they.” It’s up to the people in this room. Credit to Sarah Dewitt.
Lighthouse. We may be in different boats, but we’re all aiming for the same lighthouse. Focus on our shared goal and acknowledge unique perspectives.
Set Your Intention. Set an intention for how you want to show up and write it down. What is one thing you can do to support the conversation?
Seek to Understand. Seek to understand before being understood.
Assume Positive Intent. Look for ways for people to be right, not wrong. How would you react if you know they mean well?
Inquiry Over Advocacy. We are programmed for answers, but communication requires curiosity. Try questions instead of or alongside your comments.
What if 👉 What is? Anxiety sounds like a “what if.” By focusing on “what is” instead, we can reduce worry and focus on possibilities. Credit: The Worry Trick by David Carbonell.
Circle of Control. What’s inside our circle that we can control or influence? What’s outside? Let’s focus on what we can do. but communication requires curiosity. Try questions instead of or with your comments.
Oops Ouch. Say “ouch” if someone says something that hurts. Say “oops” and genuinely apologize for the ways your intention did not match your impact. Credit: Annaliese Griffin
“GEPO.” Good enough, press on.
W.A.I.T. Why am I talking?
Take a Breath First. Our breath deactivates our “fight or flight” reflex, allowing us to respond more clearly.
This is a Lab. Think of this as a lab; don’t be afraid to experiment and fail.
Osborn’s Rules of Brainstorming:
Suspend Judgment
Be freewheeling
Go for quantity
Build on others’ ideas
TRY THIS: Creating Team Meeting Agreements (30-90 mins)
Number of Participants: 10 or fewer (use breakouts for larger teams)
In-Person Materials: Flipcharts, sticky notes, markers, voting dots
Virtual Materials: Shared workspace (i.e., Mural or Google Docs)
Instructions:
Introduce the idea of meeting agreements: “Meeting agreements are ground rules that we as a team agree will help us reach our goals.”
Invite a few minutes of silent brainstorming to think about patterns of meeting behavior that we see a lot and jot down a few notes.
Invite team members to share what they wrote down, then repeat the process considering what meetings would look like if they were going well.
After a few minutes of discussion, ask, “What agreements should we put into place to ensure this happens?” If it’s helpful, offer these examples:
Arrive early so we can start on time
Send an agenda in advance
Use a parking lot for discussions that should happen later
Don’t interrupt
Always capture and review next steps in the final 2-5 minutes
To make sure you have a really solid list, invite the group to consider:
“How will we decide what topics to discuss?”
“How will we ensure we stay on topic?”
“How will we ensure everyone has a say?”
“What will we do when we don’t agree?”
If you have more than 10 agreements, invite the group to combine a few similar ones or vote to get to a top 10.
Ask the team where and when they would like to remind themselves of their agreements.
TIP: An easy suggestion is to make sure that meeting agreements are on a slide and used as the first slide in every meeting.
After the meeting:
To make sure that meeting agreements truly stick, do a one-month check-in on how it’s going.
Redesign meeting agreements twice a year as part of your normal team-building activities.
Whether you're a new team working together, an existing team looking for a reset, or unsure about where a project is headed, it's never a bad time to get on the same page. In This Meeting Sucks Season 4, Episode 2, we’ll walk you through our agenda for Project Kick-Offs and Team Charters so you can lay the groundwork for success, ensuring your team is ready to tackle whatever comes their way.
